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The Best Expert Advice For A Burned Out Parent

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As a burned-out parent, you carry much weight on your shoulders. The pressure to provide for your family, maintain relationships, and raise your children can sometimes put you in survival mode, especially when you don’t care for yourself.

According to recent studies, stress levels of burned-out parents were higher than those of people in severe pain1. Extreme exhaustion caused by uncontrolled chronic stress can tip parents over the edge, leaving them physically unwell and damaging their relationships with their children and partners.

Possibly struggling with self-oriented and socially prescribed perfectionism, sometimes parents just put too much pressure on themselves, and the demands of parenthood can outstrip their resources2.

Only recently has parental burnout been acknowledged as an independent psychological phenomenon3. If your life stays out of balance for too long without a break, you may run out of the energy needed to live a long, happy, and healthy life full of joy and great family memories.

This blog will share the best expert advice for burnt-out parents and how they can tackle this issue head-on.

Is It Normal To Be Exhausted As A Mom?

Yes, it’s entirely normal to feel exhausted as a mother.

Being a mother is a full-time job that requires hard work, patience, and resilience. From taking care of children to managing a household, a mother’s work is never done.

Parents sometimes struggle with the everyday onrush of developmental and behavioral twists and turns accompanying the many difficulties of childrearing4. Additionally, the demands of parenting can be stress-increasing factors, such as countless parental chores and duties to a lack of external support.

In Western countries, there is a prevalent culture of positive parenting which can often hinder a parent’s mental health, leaving them feeling drained as they strive to maintain a facade of happiness, even when they may not feel it5. They often feel responsible for ensuring their kids excel in school and are involved in multiple activities, including athletics.

This pressure to be an ideal parent with an impeccable family has increased over time, resulting in more exhaustion and burnout as the pressure to appear happy and perfect takes its toll.

Understanding Parents Burnout

Parental burnout occurs when parents lack the resources to cope with the stressors of raising a child6. Strikingly, around 5% of parents experience this phenomenon7.

However, the prevalence varies across cultures and is more commonly found among highly educated perfectionists who self-impose high-pressure parenting standards8. Notably, in many African countries, parental burnout is almost non-existent.

Parental burnout develops when the demands of parenting exceed the parent’s resources regarding time, effort, and energy. In this sense, parenting can be seen as a complex form of work9characterized by societal expectations10, relentless demands, and built-in rigidity.

Risk Factors Of Parental Burnout

Parenting can be physically and emotionally exhausting, and being a mother may further heighten the risk of parental burnout. This is partly because societal conditioning often ingrains in girls the idea of putting others’ needs before their own11, making it difficult for mothers to prioritize their mental health.

Perfectionism is another risk factor of parental burnout12, where an individual sets extremely high self-standards and strives for flawless performance accompanied by critical self-evaluations.

Perfectionism is associated with self-criticism, self-blame, anxiety, and overgeneralizing failure. Perfectionistic parents tend to set high expectations for themselves and their children, leading to pressure and fatigue, causing them to neglect essential self-care and leisure activities and creating a continual cycle of self-imposed stress and burnout13.

9 risk factors of being a burned out parent

Other significant risk factors of parental burnout14:

  • Large families with many children may increase parental demands
  • Having younger children because they require more care
  • Raising children with age gaps requires more significant parental investment
  • Being a single parent without any help or support from a partner or spouse
  • A blended family may experience challenges with establishing proper authority and resolving issues with stepchildren
  • Having financial strain causes additional financial stress
  • Additional stress and self-esteem issues if unemployed
  • Having a child with special needs
  • Being a younger parent

Three Main Dimensions Of Parental Burnout

There are three primary dimensions15of parental burnout: overwhelming exhaustion, emotional distancing, and loss of efficacy and accomplishment.

It is crucial to identify them to make necessary adjustments and take steps towards avoiding burnout. By doing so, you can navigate towards a healthier path of work-life balance.

First Dimension: Overwhelming Exhaustion

The initial aspect is all-encompassing fatigue from fulfilling long hours of parental duties16.

Parents experience weariness upon waking up every morning and having to confront another day of caring for their children. The emotional toll of parenthood is so draining that merely contemplating their role as parents can leave them feeling exhausted.

Second Dimension: Emotional Distancing

The second dimension17involves emotional detachment from one’s children.

Fatigued parents tend to be less engaged in parenting and building relationships with their children—interactions become limited to practical and task-oriented activities, which can undermine emotional connections.

Third Dimension: Loss Of Efficacy And Accomplishment

The third dimension18refers to a sense of inadequacy and failure in fulfilling one’s parental duties, resulting in a feeling of being an unfit parent.

What Are The Five Stages Of Burnout?

Burnout can slowly and silently creep up on an individual. It occurs in five stages, and you must hit all the other stages before reaching the final phase, burnout.

It’s important to remember that the first few stages of burnout can be reversible if identified early; therefore, it’s essential to be aware of the initial signs, prioritize self-care and reduce stress levels.

Stage One: Not In Burnout

The initial phase of parental burnout is commonly called the “Honeymoon Phase19” where parents experience a sense of enthusiasm towards their responsibilities20, despite being busy. This phase is typically observed in parents who have not yet entered into burnout.

Stage Two: Inefficient

Stage two is characterized by parents experiencing a sense of inefficiency despite not being burned out21. It could be described as a fuel shortage or stagnation22.

Stage Three: At Risk Of Parental Burnout

A parent experiencing less intense exhaustion, moderate emotional distancing and loss of efficacy may indicate a risk of burnout23.

Parents at risk of experiencing parental burnout may exhibit physical anxiety symptoms, such as early morning waking, general fatigue, and sleep disturbances24.

Experiencing exhaustion, emotional detachment from one’s children, and burnout may also be present, albeit at different intensities. Therefore, diagnosing and caring for exhausted parents is crucial to prevent emotional alienation25.

Stage Four: Emotionally Exhausted And Distant

The exhaustion dimension is an essential factor in evoking parental burnout, and profiles that represent largely exhausted parents with different intensities of burnout have been identified26.

Parents who experience high levels of exhaustion combined with emotional distancing may exhibit symptoms such as frustration, tiredness, loss of interest, cynicism, and distrustfulness27. This can also lead to inefficiency and mistakes at work.

Research indicates that neglect and violence may occur in such situations; therefore, clinical intervention may be necessary to prevent emotional distancing from parental exhaustion28.

These profiles seem to confirm the current description of parental burnout syndrome, where “escape” activities such as drinking, eating, shopping, and smoking may be used as coping mechanisms29. Such parents may experience frustration and crisis in their parenting roles. They may abandon the emotional aspects of parenting in favor of the functional aspects30.

Stage Five: Burned-Out Parent

Parental burnout can be an extraordinarily challenging and draining experience for exhausted parents.

When overwhelmed with the demands of parenthood, it is not unusual for parents to feel distant from their role and become disengaged31. However, if this disengagement persists, it can lead to a feeling of inefficiency, leaving parents to believe that they are not fulfilling their parental duties appropriately.

Indicators of a parent struggling with burnout are:

  • Challenges in maintaining social relationships32
  • Inability to complete work responsibilities
  • Short-temperedness with friends and loved ones
  • Rejecting help when offered33
  • Turning to alcohol or drugs
  • Constantly feeling like you and you’re spouse are bad parents

Additionally, a parent experiencing burnout may feel apathetic34and find it challenging to find the motivation to participate in activities they once enjoyed.

It is critical for parents experiencing burnout to seek help and support to mitigate its effects. Energy levels can quickly deplete, and symptoms can worsen without proper intervention, leading to a prolonged and more challenging journey to recovery.

What Does Severe Burnout Look Like?

Severe burnout can manifest in various ways, and unfortunately, it is becoming more common among working parents.

Severe burnout has been linked to serious outcomes such as35:

  • Loss of motivation or purpose in life
  • Insomnia or difficulty sleeping
  • Strong feelings of overwhelm or helplessness
  • Addictive behaviors36
  • Health disorders
  • Couple’s conflicts
  • Strained relationships with children
  • Suicidal ideation37

Parental burnout has been observed to have damaging consequences on parents, including health deterioration and addiction38.

When someone experiences severe burnout, it can lead to a variety of physical and emotional symptoms, including:

  • A decreased sex drive
  • Feelings of stagnation39; difficulty in making decisions, even small ones
  • Procrastination or putting off tasks until the last minute
  • Bitterness towards others; increased irritability or mood swings
  • Aches and pains throughout the body, such as headaches, muscle tension, or stomach issues
  • Poor self-care habits, such as lack of exercise and basic hygiene or unhealthy eating

Individuals experiencing mommy burnout symptoms may also be more susceptible to panic attacks and anxiety40.

Additionally, burnout can cause tunnel vision, making it difficult to see new viewpoints and causing individuals to lose sight of the bigger picture, including the purpose of their parenting and work.

What Does Mom Burnout Feel Like?

Mom burnout feels like overwhelming exhaustion41 related to parenting and a parent’s role. This feeling is often accompanied by emotional disengagement from children and a sense of ineffectiveness as a parent.

Those experiencing mom burnout may also:

  • Experience feelings of being chained to their house, unable to get away
  • Lose a sense of efficacy and accomplishment42
  • Feel a sense of failure that makes them try even harder, ultimately feeling worse43
  • Experience constant guilt, worry, and shame
  • Have decreased life satisfaction
  • Feel emotionally unsettled, detached, and empty
  • Get stuck in rigid ways of thinking44
  • Feel disoriented with a muddled memory
  • Living in survival mode, a constant struggle to get through each day

Do I Have Parental Burnout?

Experiencing parental burnout is akin to other types of burnout. It’s a type of exhaustion disorder that occurs explicitly within parenting.

Even if your children aren’t necessarily a challenge or unwell45, you may still experience burnout due to the demands of your parental responsibilities.

Studies indicate that women are more vulnerable to this condition, and those with a higher education level or stay-at-home parents may be at higher risk46.

Am I Suffering From Parental Burnout?

According to research, parents who reported burnout tend to become more neglectful and violent toward their children47. This could manifest in various ways, such as decreased engagement, irritability, and anger toward their children.

Studies have also found that hair cortisol levels are significantly higher in burnt-out parents48. The hair cortisol level in burnt-out parents was two times higher than that of other parents and even higher than in individuals suffering from severe chronic pain.

In addition, burnout can lead to mental distancing from the stressful situation as a self-protection mechanism49, helping to reduce the symptomatology of burnout, making you feel like bad parents.

What Are The Symptoms Of Parental Burnout?

Here are some typical burnout symptoms to look out for50:

  • Increased alcohol consumption
  • Exhaustion, which is more than just fatigue and won’t disappear with a good night’s sleep
  • Emotional disengagement from your children, where you keep the little energy you have left for yourself
  • Parents feel a loss of pleasure and fulfillment in their parental role

What Does Parental Burnout Feel Like?

Burned-out fathers may experience significant parenting-related demands and report needing practical, financial, and social support51. They may also express dissatisfaction with society, struggle to reconcile work and family life and feel strained by everyday life with their children.

In addition, a recent study has identified four dimensions of parental burnout52.

  1. The first dimension is exhaustion, related to emotional drain and too much parental involvement.
  2. The second dimension contrasts with the previous parental self, involving feelings of not being as good of a parent as in the past.
  3. The third dimension is feeling fed up with parenting, relating to dissatisfaction and not enjoying spending time with kids.
  4. The fourth dimension is emotional distancing, limiting interactions to instrumental aspects of parenting.

Struggling With Parental Burnout: Its Impact On Children

The impact of parental burnout on children is a significant concern, as studies have shown a correlation with increased neglectful and violent behaviors, even in non-violent parents53. Though the violence is typically verbal, it can escalate into physical acts.

Parental burnout can result in a dramatic shift in behavior where parents who were once devoted and loving may now exhibit disinterest in spending time with their children, leading to emotional distancing54and neglect, negatively impacting a child’s development55.

Neglect can include physical or emotional neglect, physical violence, and verbal violence56.

Emotional Needs Neglect

Parental burnout can lead to children’s emotional neglect, significantly negatively impacting their mental health and overall development57.

Emotional neglect can cause children to experience symptoms such as:

  • Difficulty identifying and managing their emotions
  • Increase the risk of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues58
  • Potentially increasing their risk for suicidal thoughts and behaviors
  • Difficulty trusting others
  • Low self-esteem, self-doubt, negative self-talk, and a lack of confidence
  • They may struggle with making and maintaining healthy relationships
  • Having trouble setting boundaries with others
  • Developing feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame
  • Struggling to find the right words to communicate their needs, leading to a lack of assertiveness
  • Impacting a child’s ability to focus, leading to poor academic performance
  • Engaging in risky or impulsive behavior as a way to cope

Physical Needs Neglect

Physical neglect occurs when a child’s health, nutrition, safety, hygiene, or clothing are neglected. This type of neglect can include situations where a child does not have access to enough food59.

Physically neglected children have been found to display more symptoms related to their internal feelings, such as depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and even suicidal thoughts.

Profiles, where exhaustion and emotional distancing are both high, are associated with significantly higher levels of physical neglect.

Verbal And Physical Violence

Violence encompasses the concept of aggression and refers to actions that cause physical, psychological, or developmental harm or pose a risk of harm60. However, emotional exhaustion alone is not enough to turn a formerly nurturing parent into a neglectful or violent one.

The severity of neglect and violence is more pronounced in parents who are both extraordinarily distant and exhausted61. When exhaustion is high, and there is a moderate loss of efficacy and accomplishment, the significant increase in emotional withdrawal leads to a substantial rise in neglect and violence.

Research shows that profiles characterized by high exhaustion and emotional detachment exhibit considerably higher levels of neglect and violence62. Moreover, children who experience violence are at a greater risk of developing externalizing symptoms such as anger, aggressive behavior, and substance abuse.

Verbal Violence

Verbal violence occurs when a child’s dignity or worth is disrespected through disrespectful verbal behavior; it involves using language to belittle, dominate, denigrate, mock, or negatively influence their kids. Parents often lose their temper quickly.

Despite experiencing high levels of exhaustion, emotional distancing, and loss of efficacy and accomplishment, parents still prioritize hindering physically violent behaviors over verbal violence or physical and emotional neglect63.

Physical Violence

Physical violence is defined as the deliberate use of force that endangers a child’s health, development, dignity, or survival64.

An act like shaking a child is a form of physical violence, as are other actions such as pushing, choking, punching, painful grabbing, and kicking.

How Do You Overcome Parent Burnout

When it comes to prevention and treatment, it’s crucial to identify the factors behind parental burnout.

These factors may include sociodemographic background, amount of children, and personality characteristics65. Among these factors, multidimensional perfectionism is a personality characteristic that may be particularly crucial in developing burnout.

How Do I Get Back From Parental Burnout?

Are you looking for a way to bounce back from parental burnout?

Surprisingly, socio-demographic risk factors are not as crucial as personal factors such as perfectionism and parenting practices.

Many parents tend to overwhelm themselves by pushing their children to participate in many extracurricular activities or by striving to prepare organic meals66.

The solution can be as simple as ensuring sufficient time for leisure activities, relaxation, or seeking external support.

Reassess Social Media Usage

If you’re experiencing parental burnout, examining your relationship with social media is crucial.

A growing body of research shows an unhealthy relationship with social media can contribute to mom burnout symptoms in numerous ways. It can:

  • Set expectations unrealistically in one’s parental role
  • Present idealized versions of motherhood
  • Cause constant comparison causing parents to feel guilty
  • Take away from real-life interactions
  • Hinder actual self-care practices
  • Escalate substance use

While social media can be helpful, it’s important to recognize when it’s time to step away and seek out face-to-face connections or professional help. Be mindful of your daily social media usage and set healthy boundaries to prioritize your well-being.

How Do I Get Past Parental Burnout?

Wondering how to fix your parental burnout? Here are some tips that can help:

Stop Overcommitting Yourself And Your Children

One of the primary contributors to parental burnout is the tendency to overcommit oneself and one’s kids with activities and obligations. This can lead to increased stress and anxiety for both burned-out parents and children, as well as decreased academic performance and financial strain.

To avoid these adverse outcomes, it’s vital to balance engaging in enriching activities and maintaining a manageable schedule that allows for relaxation.

Here are tips that working parents and kids can follow to reduce overcommitting and overscheduling:

  • Prioritizing activities, identify your top priorities and focus on them
  • Learning to say “no” to activities that do not align with your priorities and saying “yes” to things that will genuinely enhance your life
  • Schedule downtime to rest and relax as a family
  • Involve your child in the decision-making process when it comes to scheduling activities
  • Share responsibilities; divide household responsibilities between family members
  • Create boundaries around work and home life
  • Practice mindfulness to reduce stress levels and increase focus

By doing so, burned-out parents and children can:

  • Enjoy more healthy meals together
  • Take advantage of more time for exercise and physical activity
  • Have more opportunities for spontaneous moments of fun and play
  • Start to feel in control of their schedules
  • Enjoy improved sleep patterns and better overall health
  • Have time for reflection and personal growth
  • Create quality time together as a family
  • Increase opportunities for relaxation and self-care
  • Have increased productivity and higher quality work output
  • Relish in more freedom to pursue personal goals and aspirations

Evaluate Your Perfectionism Tendencies

Multidimensional perfectionism encompasses 1) self-oriented perfectionism, characterized by high self-expectations combined with severe self-criticism, as well as 2) socially prescribed perfectionism, where individuals perceive high standards imposed by others67.

Research has shown that burned-out parents often experience both forms of perfectionism and pressure in their parenting role from external sources.

However, socially prescribed perfectionism is the strongest predictor of parental burnout68. In fact, as the level of socially prescribed perfectionism increases, so does the likelihood of experiencing burnout as a parent.

This relationship is reinforced when parents also exhibit high levels of self-oriented perfectionism.

Additionally, research indicates that mothers tend to report higher levels of socially prescribed and self-oriented perfectionism, which could contribute to their increased risk of parental burnout compared to fathers.

Check out these tips to combat parental burnout and decrease stressors caused by perfectionism:

  • Recognize and accept that you can’t be perfect in anything
  • Focus on progress, not perfection, celebrating your small achievements along the way
  • Set realistic and achievable goals to prevent feeling overwhelmed
  • Be kind and gentle with yourself, avoid negative self-talk and self-criticism
  • Accept that making mistakes and experiencing failures are part of the learning process
  • Avoid comparing yourself to other parents and focus on your journey
  • Let go of unnecessary expectations and embrace flexibility in your parenting style
  • Seek support from other parents who understand and have faced similar struggles

How Do You Beat Parental Burnout?

Here are some more proven strategies to get over parenting burnout and regain a renewed sense of energy, joy, and purpose in your role as a parent.

  • Take a momcation69designed explicitly for tired mothers who need a break from their spouses and kids to rest and relax
  • Give yourself something to look forward to, together with and apart from your family
  • Collaboration and effective communication with your family can assist in overcoming burnout for every family member involved
  • Create a family self-care plan
  • Asses what family needs are not being met; what needs are being over-met?

How Do You Overcome Severe Burnout?

Overcoming severe burnout can be challenging and daunting, but with proper self-compassion and support, it’s possible to regain a sense of balance and well-being.

What is the fastest way to cure burnout?

Firstly, don’t let other people’s opinions influence your decisions; choose what feels right. This could mean:

  • Making a career change
  • Moving to a different living location
  • Having another child
  • Focusing on excelling in one specific volunteer activity

Secondly, strive for simplicity70. Roberto Assagioli, M.D., suggests that to cope with the difficulties of modern existence, we should simplify our outer life while developing our inner powers71.

One way to achieve this is by reducing friction in our lives by eliminating unnecessary tasks, objects, and relationships that cause friction. Simplifying our outer lives can give us the space and time to work on our inner selves, leading to a more fulfilling and enriching life.

Thirdly, focusing on one’s mental well-being is crucial72, especially for parents, benefits them personally and impacts their children’s development.

Lastly, but arguably most important, building a support network of mommy friends can be incredibly beneficial73. These can include co-parents, neighbors, or any other moms with whom you share the common bond of raising children.

Parents feel connecting with other women can help fulfill their need for social interaction, significantly improve their sense of belonging, and alleviate feelings of loneliness, especially in times of stress.

What Is Working Mom Burnout?

A national childcare provider survey found that 98% of working parents are experiencing parental and job burnout74.

Over half of working parents reported unhappiness in their current job, with 62% feeling that their employer is not invested in their well-being75. At the same time, almost 80% agree that changes must be implemented in the office rather than at home.

Unfortunately, policies like paid leave, flexible schedules, telecommuting, and job-sharing are uncommon even amongst lower-paid workers. This phenomenon affects everyone, from high-level executives to low-paid hourly workers.

What Does Working Mother Burnout Look Like?

Working mother burnout can be characterized as a series of stages, starting with exhaustion, then depersonalization, and eventually resulting in a loss of efficacy and accomplishment76.

According to a survey, about three-fourths of working parents avoid complaining about not having a work-life balance and are reluctant to bring their caregiver needs to their employer’s attention77.

If you’re working in a job that involves people and has little control and lots of responsibility, you may be at risk of working mom exhaustion, especially if you are a hard-working idealist78.

Unbalance Between Job And Parenting Responsibilities

Factors that can increase the risk of burnout include:

  • Working long hours and massive work overload
  • A poor match between job demands and the person doing it
  • Responsibility without authority
  • Lack of recognition or appreciation
  • Lack of control over scheduling
  • Working intently on unnecessary tasks79

Experiencing the risk factor of burnout causes a working parent to:

  • Lose focus at work80
  • Extend low effort
  • Fall into the trap of perfectionism
  • Get captured by decideaphobia
  • Have less patience and coping skills, and lose their temper easily
  • Experience lower impulse control
  • Feel decreased self-fulfillment

Why Am I So Tired As A Working Mom?

Being a working mom is a challenging and demanding job. Not only do moms need to fulfill their responsibilities at work, but they also have to dedicate long hours to taking care of their kids and home once they return.

This can be exhausting as it requires being constantly on the go with limited time for rest or relaxation.

What Is The Working Parent Burnout Scale?

The Working Parent Burnout Scale is a reliable and valid measure developed by professors at the University of Exeter Business School in 2020.

It consists of 23 items that measure burnout in working parents, including emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and personal accomplishment.

This tool was essential during the COVID-19 pandemic when many parents were juggling remote work and homeschooling and can help identify the risk of burnout and evaluate the effectiveness of interventions.

Is It OK For Both Parents To Work?

Yes, it is common and acceptable for both parents to work.

Many families have both parents working to support their household and provide for their children’s needs. However, the decision to have both parents work or not depends on various factors, including job and parenting responsibilities, family values, financial situation, and the age of the children.

It is a personal decision that each family should make based on their unique circumstances.

How Do You Raise A Child When Both Parents Work?

Raising a child can be challenging, but raising a child when both parents work can be even more difficult to find joy.

Here are some expert tips on how to make it work:

  • Create a schedule that works for both you and your partner, and stick to it
  • Use a calendar to keep everyone on the same page
  • Find a reliable caregiver that you trust
  • Communicate with your partner and child about schedules, expectations, and plans
  • Share responsibilities equally between you, your partner, and the entire family
  • Have a consistent routine so everyone knows what to expect
  • Set priorities for your family and stick to them
  • Make quality time with your child a focus, even if it is just a few minutes a day
  • Be flexible when plans change, or unexpected events occur
  • Plan meals ahead of time to save time and money
  • Take care of yourself, take deep breaths, and strengthen your coping skills
  • Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends and family
  • Enjoy the journey of raising a child while balancing work and family obligations

How To Balance Work And Parenting

Balancing work and parenting can be challenging, but specific strategies can help make it more manageable.

Firstly, companies should adopt family-friendly81 policies such as:

  • Paid leave
  • Flexible schedules
  • Telecommuting
  • Job-sharing to support working parents

Secondly, staying present is crucial – when you’re working, focus on work, and spend time with your family, be fully engaged. Remember, quality time is more important than quantity.

Try to focus on your senses and be proactive(9 in creating systems to avoid everyday upsets by:

  • Developing self-management skills
  • Learn how to say no confidently
  • Keeping an open mind
  • Striving for calmness and peace

Taking regular breaks throughout the day and developing your powers of concentration82 can help you parent and keep job burnout at bay.

Moreover, finding a mentor through a good book, a counselor, or a local hospital can guide you to avoid wasting valuable years trying to gain practice and practical knowledge from various sources.

How Do Working Moms Recover From Burnout?

According to a recent survey83, most Americans, precisely 60%, have reported job burnout, feeling pressured to work excessively. Moreover, over 80% of participants expressed a desire to have more quality time to spend with their families. A striking 52% of those surveyed admitted they would be willing to sacrifice their income in exchange for more meaningful moments with loved ones.

How Do You Deal With A Burned-Out Working Mom?

Individuals tend to perform better in their workplace when they have minimal concerns or distractions related to their personal life at home84.

How to support a working mother who is experiencing job burnout?

  • Group therapy can be effective as it provides a supportive and normalizing environment where parents can learn coping skills and find solace in shared experiences85

  • Conversely, mindfulness can be helpful or harmful, depending on the individual. It can be an additional task that adds to a person’s burden, and without the proper guidance, it can lead to adverse effects.

  • Embrace and encourage open communication. Most burnt-out workers suffer in silence because they fear losing their jobs or missed opportunities. Thus, it’s crucial to open a line of communication that workers are comfortable using to seek help86.

What Is Stay-At-Home Mom Burnout?

Can stay-at-home moms get burnout? Yes, stay-at-home moms can experience burnout.

Being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job, and it can be mentally, physically, and emotionally taxing. The pressure to be the perfect caregiver, homemaker, and partner can lead to burnout, causing feelings of exhaustion, cynicism, and detachment.

Women are more likely to experience burnout compared to men, and this risk increases for stay-at-home parents who are constantly juggling multiple responsibilities without much outside help.

Stay-at-home moms need to recognize the signs of burnout and find ways to take care of themselves, whether through seeking help from outside resources, getting help with their mother’s load, or simply taking some time for self-care.

Is Pandemic Parent Burnout A Thing?

Pandemic burnout is a thing. According to research conducted on more than 1000 parents during the COVID-19 lockdown, about a third of them deteriorated and felt exhausted due to the burden of caring for young children at home while working87.

Can covid cause burnout?

The Ohio State University researchers released a report about the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on working parents. Ohio State University researchers revealed that the level of burnout parents are experiencing, plus the negative consequences this has on themselves and their children, are legitimate.

Ohio State University measured the impact of burnout on working parents and their children and discussed the concept of “parental burnout,” as described by Kate Gawlik, a nursing professor of clinical nursing and mother of four. She explains that many parents experience an overwhelming feeling of constantly performing multiple roles and investing heavily in them, leading to burnout.

With childcare, schools, and other support systems collapsed, a working parent is tasked with many responsibilities over and above caregiving, which can lead to exhaustion related to parenting, diminished enjoyment from being with a child, or disengaging emotionally from childrearing88.

On the other hand, a third of parents’ situations were improved thanks to the lockdown89. Given that they did not have any extracurricular activities to attend, they could spend their time at home engaging in activities that they usually wouldn’t have the chance to enjoy and enjoy life to the fullest.

Lastly, according to the study, approximately a third remained the same.

Step Mom Burnout

Stepmom burnout is a condition that occurs when stepmothers begin to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and emotionally and physically depleted from the constant stress and pressure of fulfilling their role as stepmom.

It can be caused by several factors, including feelings of isolation, co-parenting conflicts, maintaining boundaries, and the constant emotional labor that comes with being a stepmother.

If left unchecked, stepmom burnout can harm both physical and mental health, making it essential for stepmothers to recognize the signs and take steps to prevent and address them.

Why Is It So Hard Being A Stepmom?

Being a stepmom can be challenging for many reasons.

Firstly, you may not have a solid emotional bond, making it difficult to establish a close relationship with your stepchildren.

Secondly, there may be issues of loyalty and attachment, where the children may feel that you are trying to replace their biological mother. This can lead to resentment and rejection, making it hard to build a positive relationship.

Thirdly, there may be conflicts between you and your partner’s ex-partner, which can spill over into your relationship with the children. This can create tension and stress for everyone involved.

Finally, being a stepmom can be exhausting as you may be juggling the needs of children who are not biologically yours, as well as your family and work commitments. It’s essential to take care of yourself and seek support from your partner or therapist if needed.

How Do You Survive Being A Stepmother?

Being a stepmother can be challenging, but thriving in this role is not impossible. Here are a few tips to help you survive being a stepmother:

  • Understand your role: It’s essential to understand that your role as a stepmother differs from that of a biological mother. Your stepchildren already have a mother, so your part is to support them, positively influence their lives, and be there for them.
  • Be patient: Building a relationship with your stepchildren takes time. Don’t try to force it; let the relationship develop naturally over time.
  • Communicate openly: Communicate openly and honestly with your stepchildren about your expectations, boundaries, and feelings. Listen to their needs and concerns as well.
  • Don’t take things personally: Remember that your stepchildren may have difficulty accepting you, especially if they’re used to their biological parents being together. Don’t take it personally; it’s not about you.
  • Focus on the positives: Make an effort to focus on the positives in your relationship with your stepchildren. Celebrate milestones together, make happy memories, and enjoy your time together.

Remember that being a stepmother is a unique role with its challenges, but with time, patience, and effort, you can develop a strong, positive relationship with your stepchildren.

What Is A Toxic Stepmother?

A toxic stepmother is a term used to describe a woman who behaves in a consistently harmful manner towards her stepchildren.

She may engage in emotional abuse, manipulation, neglect, or physical abuse towards them, causing them to feel isolated and unloved in their own family.

A toxic stepmother may prioritize her children or personal desires above the needs and well-being of her stepchildren, causing conflict and tension between them.

What A Stepmom Should Not Do

Avoiding certain behaviors to maintain a positive relationship with your stepchildren is essential. Here are a few things a stepmom should not do:

  • Overstep boundaries: It’s essential to respect the relationship between your stepchildren and their biological parent. Avoid making decisions without consulting the biological parent, and don’t try to replace them in their child’s life.

  • Show favoritism: Treating your stepchildren differently from your biological children can create resentment and tension in your family. Try to treat all your children equally.

  • Badmouth the biological parent: Speaking negatively about your stepchildren’s biological parent can create loyalty conflicts and make children feel stuck in the middle.

  • Force a relationship: Letting the relationship between you and your stepchildren develop naturally is vital. Forcing a relationship can make children feel uncomfortable or pressured.

  • Neglect self-care: Being a stepmom can be emotionally exhausting. Taking care of your needs and seeking support when needed is critical. Don’t neglect your own mental health and well-being.

Which Parenting Years Are The Hardest?

Parenting is a challenging and rewarding experience at every stage, but many parents consider the toddler and teenage years among the hardest.

Toddlers can be demanding and unpredictable, while teenagers can be moody, rebellious, and challenging to communicate with.

However, every child is unique, and some parents may find other stages of development more difficult depending on their circumstances.

Ultimately, the most challenging period of parenting is subjective and can vary from parent to parent.

Do Parents Get Tired Of Their Child?

It’s natural for parents to feel tired at times from the demands of parenting, especially if they have young children or have been working parents for an extended period without much support or respite.

However, while parents may feel overwhelmed or exhausted sometimes, this does not necessarily mean they get tired of their children.

What Is The Happiest Family Size

There is no universally defined “happiest” family size, as it can vary depending on cultural and individual factors.

The size of a happy family may depend on factors such as:

  • The number of children desired
  • The ability to provide for them
  • The level of support from extended family and friends
  • Personal preferences

What Is The 4th Child Syndrome?

“Fourth child syndrome” refers to the phenomenon where the youngest child in a family often receives less attention and fewer resources from parents than their older siblings. This can lead to feelings of neglect or a lack of individuality.

However, it’s important to note that every family is different, and not all fourth children experience this syndrome.

What Is The Burnout Assessment Tool?

The Burnout Assessment Tool is a survey-based tool, including a series of questions, designed to help individuals identify if they are experiencing symptoms of burnout.

The responses to the parental burnout quiz are then used to determine if the individual is experiencing burnout and to what degree.

This tool can be helpful for individuals feeling burnt out and looking for a way to assess their situation and determine the next steps for self-care and improvement.

The two instruments developed to measure parental burnout are 1) the Parental Burnout Inventory and 2) the Parental Burnout Assessment90.

Parental Burnout Assessment

The Parental Burnout Assessment is widely recognized as the “gold standard” for researching parental burnout internationally91. This parental burnout test consists of a questionnaire that includes four proposed subcategories:

  • Emotional exhaustion
  • Contrast your previous parental self
  • Feelings of being fed up
  • Emotional distancing

Ultimately, the PBA evaluates parents’ perceptions of their mental health and child-rearing practices92.

Quick Parental Burnout Test

Are you burning out? Try this short test93, answering “rarely,” “sometimes,” or “a lot”:

  1. Are you working harder and doing less?
  2. Are you suffering many physical complaints?
  3. Do people say you look tired?
  4. Do you tire more easily?
  5. Are you generally ”fed up” or cynical?
  6. Are you more irritable and short-tempered?
  7. Do you forget things more?
  8. Are you too busy to be polite or pleasant?
  9. Do you have little to say to people?
  10. Do you see friends and family less often?
  11. Is it hard to laugh?
  12. Do you often feel really sad?
  13. Do you rarely feel joyful?
  14. Does your life feel meaningless?

Scoring: “Rarely = 0” “Sometimes = 1” “A lot = 3”

Final Score Totals:

Point Values: “Zero to 16 = no or few signs” – Congrats! You have no or few signs of burnout.

Point Values: “16 to 24 = Beware” – If you’re in the beware category, you might be experiencing mild burnout—time to decrease stressors.

Point Values: “24 to 32 = Time for changes – Your mild burnout turned into moderate burnout.

Point Values: “32 to 42 = Burnout time – Your moderate burnout has morphed into severe burnout.

When To Reach Out To A Mental Health Professional

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed or stressed as a working parent, especially with everything happening today. However, if your symptoms are becoming more severe or interfering with your daily life, it’s essential to seek help from a mental health professional or healthcare provider.

Remember, taking care of yourself is as important as taking care of your children.

By seeking help, you’ll gain access to available resources to improve your well-being and set a positive example for your children.

Don’t hesitate to seek available resources, support, and guidance; it’s a courageous and vital step towards a healthier and happier life.

Conclusion: Expert Advice For A Burned-Out Parent

Parental burnout is a common issue that many parents face today. With the right expert advice and tools, overcoming burnout and restoring a healthy work-life balance is possible.

It is important to remember that this process takes time and patience and will not happen overnight; don’t give up if you don’t see immediate improvements.

Do you have any additional expert parental advice to share? If so, leave them in the comments below. We’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences!

Cinderella's Bookshelf

References

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