Are you experiencing mommy burnout symptoms?
Know that you’re not alone. It’s today’s modern epidemic.
From feeling exhausted to experiencing anxiety and depression, the burnout cycle can be overwhelming.
Let’s explore how burnout affects you and how you can destroy your burnout symptoms once and for all.
How Do You Explain Mommy Burnout
Being a mom can be an enriching experience, but it can also be stressful because most women strive to be the perfect mom, especially on social media.
Failing to manage anxiety by ignoring it can lead to negative consequences, like a never-ending burnout cycle.
Is Mommy Burnout a Thing?
According to recent studies, the answer to the question “is mommy burnout a thing” is a resounding yes.
This genuine phenomenon can often take mothers by surprise, creeping up on them without warning.
The source of our mom burnout misery often stems from mismanaging our stress levels, which can profoundly impact all aspects of our bodies1.
It’s crucial for mothers to be aware of the signs of mommy burnout and to take steps to prioritize self-care and reduce anxiety levels before burnout sets in.
What Does Mom Burnout Feel Like?
As a mother, you carry the world’s weight on your shoulders; the demands can be overwhelming and unrelenting, manifesting in continual mom guilt.
Burnout can manifest as physical symptoms like headaches, back pain, and insomnia or emotional symptoms like irritability, anxiety, and depression.
What are the Emotional Mommy Burnout Symptoms?
If you’re feeling burnt out, emotional symptoms may be your body’s way of alerting you you need a change. These symptoms can be all-consuming.
Keep an eye out for these common symptoms:
You Feel Detached and Disengaged – You lack connection with yourself2 and are disengaged from friends, family, and activities that once brought you joy. Emotions may be difficult to access, leaving you feeling alone.
Negative Self-Talk – You’re struggling with a lot of internal turmoil, and the constant screaming inside your head reinforces negative thoughts and emotions such as guilt, shame3, and regret.
Feelings of Emptiness – Loneliness can take hold when you’re alone and without a support network. This can significantly impact your parenting ability, as you may lose the empathy to care for your children effectively.
Uncontrollable Mood Swings – You’re a volatile person who gets easily triggered by anything, finding yourself frequently irritated and ready to lash out at any moment. Constantly struggling to control your emotions, you are always on edge.
What are the Physical Mommy Burnout Symptoms?
If you’re experiencing burnout, watch out for physical symptoms that will diminish your overall mental health and well-being:
All Over Body Aches and Pains – Some common physical signs of burnout to keep an eye out for are headaches or migraines, muscle tension, stomach pain, nausea, a weakened immune system, increased heart rate or palpitations, and shortness of breath or chest pain.
Exhaustion – You feel tired despite how much sleep you get at night4. Your energy levels are not what they used to be, with a massive lack of “normal” energy throughout the day. This can even result in falling asleep while at the wheel.
Unhealthy Eating Habits – When stressed and overworked, turning to comfort foods high in sugar, fat, and calories can be easy. These foods may provide temporary relief but can also contribute to feelings of sluggishness and lethargy.
Lack of Basic Hygiene – You’re skipping showers, neglecting dental care, or not washing your hands as frequently, leading to body odor, bad breath, and an increased risk of illness.
An Unhealthy Relationship with Drugs/Alcohol – Turning to drugs or alcohol to cope with the stress and emotional strain can lead to increased drinking, smoking, and other substance use, which only worsens the problem in the long run.
Restlessness – When you’re overwhelmed and stressed, your brain can feel constantly racing, making it hard to quiet your thoughts and find peace. This can lead to restlessness, fidgeting, and an inability to sit still.
Low Sex Drive – Long-term anxiousness caused by burnout can lead to decreased libido for both men and women5. Stress and sex drive are closely linked, and when we experience long-term stressors, our bodies release cortisol, the “stress hormone.” Elevated cortisol levels can interfere with the production of testosterone and estrogen, essential for sexual desire.
What are the Mental Symptoms of Mommy Burnout?
If you’re experiencing burnout, your body may display physical symptoms to indicate the need for change. These symptoms can be overwhelming and all-encompassing.
Look out for these typical signs:
Constant Feelings of Overwhelm – Being overwhelmed can feel like a heavy weight on your chest, a racing heart, and a jumble of thoughts. You may feel anxious, stressed, and exhausted all at once. It’s like navigating through a dense fog where you can’t see the way forward clearly.
Panic Attacks – Burnout can cause a mom to experience panic attacks due to the overwhelming exhaustion of balancing family, work, and personal life. A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear or discomfort, including sweating, trembling, shortness of breath, chest pain, and a feeling of impending doom.
You Feel Disoriented – Burnout can leave you feeling lost and confused, with a memory that feels like it’s been squashed. The rigidity of your thinking can make it difficult to see a way out of this state6. You may find yourself simply going through the motions without absolute joy and losing interest in activities that once pleased you.
Memory Problems – When burned out, your brain is constantly stressed, affecting your ability to focus, remember things, and make decisions.
A Creeping Sense of Failure – You are enveloped by a creeping sense of loss that has left you feeling powerless and disappointed, like you’re in over your head, replaceable 7, and full of doubt. This has led to a lack of accomplishment, feelings of inefficiency and uselessness, and poor performance.
Resentment – When the demands of motherhood exceed a mother’s capacity to cope, moms may resent their kids and husband8because of a lack of appreciation, an overwhelming responsibility for everything, a loss of Identity, and the lack of support they receive.
What does Mum burnout look like?
Look out for these typical signs:
A Roller Coaster of Uncontrollable Feelings – Mommy burnout can have various emotional symptoms, including extreme irritability and mood swings. Overwhelming feelings may always lead to tears, and family members may never know what to expect due to your unpredictable behavior. Crying can be expected at any time of day9.
A Loss of Control and Focus in Life – Mommy burnout can lead to a disorganized brain, leaving you feeling like you have no control. With much less patience and low impulse control, you may experience a massive decrease in self-fulfillment, finding yourself living passively.
Tunnel Vision – Tunnel vision sets in, and you can’t see things right before you. You get locked into seeing everything the same way without new considerations or viewpoints. It’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture.
Fertility Issues – Burnout can harm fertility10 by disrupting the delicate balance of hormones necessary for conception. When the body is under constant pressure, it produces high levels of cortisol and adrenaline, which can interfere with ovulation and sperm production. Burnout can also lead to unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as poor diet and lack of exercise, further exacerbating fertility issues. In addition, burnout may cause couples to neglect their relationship and intimacy, leading to decreased sexual activity and lower chances of conception.
A Stressed-Out Family – Burnout is not just an individual problem; it can have a ripple effect on the entire family. When one person struggles with burnout, it can create a highly volatile environment that affects everyone in the household. Children are especially vulnerable to this stress and may experience sleep issues, mood swings, and physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches11.
Is My Chronic Stress Burnout?
It can be difficult to differentiate chronic stress from burnout because they have similar symptoms, and both attack your mental health. If left unaddressed, stress may progress into burnout.
Mom Burnout Quiz & Parent Burnout Quiz
Are you experiencing stress, or has it developed into burnout?
Answer the following questions with Yes or No.
I feel tired and overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood
I’m constantly running on empty
I can no longer pinpoint where my worry and anxiousness are coming from12
I’ve abandoned my goals completely
I have headaches and stomachaches
My muscles are tight and sore
I can’t seem to turn off my brain to fall and stay asleep
I worry about everything all the time
I no longer find interest in the hobbies and activities that used to bring me joy
I’m snapping at my family more often than usual
If you have answered “yes” to four or more of these questions, it indicates that you are either burned out or on your way toward burnout.
Read on for highly effective ways to tackle and reverse the symptoms of mom burnout.
Why Do I Feel Burnout as a Mom?
Burnout can occur when your coping strategies become ineffective, leading to stress that builds up over time.
Let’s explore some possible root causes of long-term stress moms face and offer strategies for dealing with them.
Going Against Your Core Values – When you compromise on your core values, it can cause burnout in your professional life, personal life, and overall well-being. Prioritizing external validation or compromising your integrity can cause inner turmoil and disconnection from yourself. Staying true to your core values and beliefs is vital to maintaining a unique alignment and fulfillment.
The Absence of a Good Idea – It’s common to see boredom and apathy in our society. This suggests that some people are not reaching their full potential as they lack inspiration, creativity, or a good idea13. The absence of good ideas can be a major hurdle in achieving success. It’s easy to lose sight of your goals and become complacent when you have nothing exciting or challenging to work on. Procrastination, frustration, negative self-talk, and a lack of fulfillment are all common symptoms of this problem.
You Overbook Yourself and Your Children – Overbooking can have negative consequences for moms and their children. These negative consequences can look like this:
A lack of quality time together in daily life leads to feelings of disconnection
Poor physical health due to lack of sleep, exercise, or healthy eating habits
Reduced academic performance for children due to lack of focus and attention
Financial strain from paying for multiple activities or events
Feelings of guilt or inadequacy as a parent for not being able to keep up with everything
A Non-fulfilling Job That Doesn’t Allow You to Use Your Creativity14 – Being a mom is already challenging, but adding a non-fulfilling job can lead to burnout. For working moms, jobs that stifle creativity leave you feeling stuck and unfulfilled, affecting their mental health. As a mom, juggling responsibilities becomes more complicated with an unsatisfying job.
Not Listening to Your Body – Pay attention to how you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally. By doing so, you can identify the signs of burnout early on and take proactive steps to address them. Ultimately, listening to your body is about honoring your needs and boundaries as a mother. It allows you to show up fully for yourself and your family.
Prioritizing Immediate Gratification Over Long-term Goal Attainment – Focusing too much on immediate gratification can lead to burnout. This happens when we prioritize short-term pleasure over long-term goals and responsibilities, leading to guilt, stress, and overwhelm as we try to catch up. The cycle of short bursts of energy followed by periods of exhaustion can become exhausting over time.
Experiencing Trauma, Fear, or Stress – The constant exposure to adverse experiences can lead to exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, making it difficult for individuals to function normally in their daily lives. Research shows that those who experience a cluster of life crises have a 75% or higher risk of becoming ill in the next year or two15.
Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media – Trying to be a picture-perfect Pinterest mother sets unrealistic expectations for motherhood, presenting idealized versions that can leave moms feeling inadequate, invoke self-doubt, or make them feel like they’re not doing enough. The constant comparison and pressure to measure up to fake realities take away valuable real-life interactions and self-care practices essential for a mom’s mental health.
The False Self16 – Not following your natural inclinations, listening to the deep desires within you, and embracing your uniqueness can lead to regret and unfulfillment in the future, resulting in wasted potential.
What is Depleted Mother Syndrome?
According to psychologist Rick Hanson, mothers may experience a depletion of physical, emotional, and mental resources over time. This phenomenon is also known as “depleted mother syndrome” or maternal/parental burnout.
Factors that can contribute to this syndrome include lack of support from family and friends, financial stress, sleep deprivation, and feeling overwhelmed by parenting demands.
Symptoms of depleted mother syndrome causing stress may include fatigue, irritability, feelings of isolation or loneliness, decreased motivation, and difficulty concentrating.
Mommy, Stop Burnout Using Real-Time Tools
Here are some realistic suggestions about taking charge of your mind and body to achieve a state of calmness and reduce your stress response in real-time.
Top-Down Processing
Controlling the mind with the mind is not always practical.
Instead, taking control of the body through mechanical actions can lead to better control of the mind through top-down control.
“Trying to control the mind with the mind is like trying to grab fog.”
Real-Time Tools
If you’re struggling with stress and burnout, there are concrete tools that can help.
A positive tool to control your mind is focusing on something purely mechanical through the body, bringing more focus and alertness to the brain.
It’s essential to understand which kind of stress you have17 – whether your energy is too low or too high – as the solutions for each are different.
Hyper-Alert Stress
If your energy is too high, and you’re having a tough time getting it down, you’re experiencing hyper-alert stress.
For a positive tool that combats hyper-alert stress, neuroscientist Andrew Huberman suggests trying the following real-time tool:
Breathing – There is a direct relationship between how you breathe and your heart rate. Longer or more vigorous exhales than your inhales will slow down your heart rate and make you less alert, helping to calm down your nerves.
Cold Water – Cold water bath or shower will almost always induce a low-stress level in people.
When hyper-alert stress is prolonged, it will eventually become fatigue stress.
Exhaustion/Overwhelm Stress
It’s common to experience exhaustion and overwhelm, often from inadequate or poorly scheduled sleep. Various challenges and stressors can exacerbate this.
The result is the inability to mobilize and cope with everything happening.
If you’re exhausted and having a hard time getting your energy up, Huberman suggests this real-time tool:
Breathing – To increase alertness, adjust the intensity or duration of your inhales to be slightly more significant than your exhales.
What is the Fastest Way to Cure Burnout?
Do you feel like you drifted apart from friends, family, and connections? You’re not alone. These days moms have fewer intimate relationships than they used to.
One of the most significant contributors to mommy burnout is not having close friends to confide in. When moms lack close friends, they often resort to ineffective coping strategies.
The data suggest that reestablishing social connections, particularly social harmony, will be the quickest remedy to mitigate or reduce long-term stress18.
Consider the following ways to reestablish social connections:
Join a local mom’s group or playgroup
Attend community events and get involved in local organizations
Volunteer at your child’s school or extracurricular activities
Take up a new hobby or class to meet like-minded individuals
Attend exercise classes or join a sports league
Attend religious services and get involved with the community
Reach out to old friends or acquaintances who live nearby and schedule a coffee date
Mom Burnout Help: The Path to Recovery
Finding solutions that work best for your unique situation is essential to combat symptoms of mommy burnout.
How Do You Fight Mommy Burnout?
Here are some top ways to combat mom burnout:
Simplify Your Outer Life – When it comes to living, strive for simplicity19. Reduce friction in your life20 as it slows you down and requires more effort21. Remember the three central departments of living: family, how we spend our days, and income22. Work towards keeping each department uncomplicated yet exciting and rewarding.
"Value simplicity over chaos and quality over quantity."
- Develop Your Inner Powers – The growth towards self-actualization involves developing talents, creativity, wisdom, and character23. This leads to psychological health and requires a willingness to take chances, make mistakes, and break habits. There is a connection between self-actualization and one’s ability to enjoy life24.
Discover Your True Calling – By tapping into your inner mystery and letting your innate drive lead you towards your life’s purpose, you can gain the clarity25 needed to discover the right career path and ultimately achieve a sense of fulfillment. Ask yourself questions about your passions, values, and goals to clarify your purpose outside of motherhood.
"Not becoming our true selves is the worst guilt of all."
- Stay on Your Unique Path in Life – According to our genetic instructions, there is a natural urge to fulfill one’s potential and unique talents. Going against this innate drive can lead to feelings of anxiety and guilt26, and an emptiness that can only be filled by distraction or harmful habits27. The pain and frustration you feel will reveal how far you have deviated.
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams... he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
- Establish a Noteworthy Goal – A good idea gives us a sense of worth and purpose, bringing renewal into our lives like fresh air. Humans need something worthwhile to work towards; otherwise, even remarkable achievements won’t bring happiness28. To restore interest and vitality in life, we must search for new meanings and understand their importance. Even the pursuit of finding new meaning can bring new interest into our lives.
Live in the Present – When it comes to working, focus on the task. And when spending time with loved ones, be present and enjoy the moment. Remember that quality is more important than quantity. Stay mindful and engage your senses in everything you do.
Never Stop Learning – Value learning over money29. Learning is a lifelong process that spans various aspects of life. It’s crucial to prioritize learning and continuously expand our knowledge through trial and error. Building our storehouses of information will lead to creative problem-solving and a wealth of imaginative ideas for our work30.
Check out these 125 burnout prevention strategies you can try right now for some more science backed ideas.
How Do You Treat Mom Burnout?
If you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, here are some more expert tips that may help you cope better:
Establish Your Goals – It’s essential to have goals in life. Without them, we’re like ships without a rudder31. So take some time for soul-searching and figure out what you want. Rachel Hollis says, “A goal is a dream with its workboots on.”32.
Learn to Forgive Yourself and Others – When we hold onto resentment or anger towards ourselves or others, it can lead to exhaustion and overwhelm. By practicing forgiveness, we can release these negative emotions and allow ourselves to move forward with greater clarity and peace of mind.
Take Regular Breaks – By allowing your brain to relax; you may find that creative solutions to problems come more easily. Prioritizing calmness is vital, as it leads to clarity33. Taking a short break when you first feel fatigued is more beneficial than waiting until exhaustion sets in, requiring a more extended period of rest34.
Embrace Calmness and Peace – A calm and peaceful attitude is crucial for good ideas to come35. Being relaxed also has a significant impact on our overall health. We can tap into our creative potential only when we’re in a state of serenity36.
How Do You Recover From Mommy Burnout?
Consistently investing small amounts of time daily to prevent burnout can have an incredible impact. Here are some more tactics to try:
Ask For Help – This allows you to delegate tasks, share the workload, and give you a chance to reach out to other women. It also sets a positive example for children by showing them that it’s okay to ask for assistance when needed.
Exercise as a Stress Reliever – The mind and the body depend on each other37. Physical activity is beneficial for mental exhaustion. Rather than focusing on training for body toning, view it as a stress reliever. Find an enjoyable way to stay active and maintain consistency38.
Self-Management – To ensure the quality of our total product in all aspects of life, including family, business, and free time, it is crucial to prioritize self-management39. This means organizing and managing our time effectively to achieve our goals and maintain high standards.
Keep an Open Mind – To avoid stagnation and decay, maintaining an open-minded perspective is crucial40. Stay calm and cheerful, and don’t let minor annoyances derail you. Embrace new perspectives and challenge your beliefs regularly. Remember that those who resist change are on a path toward stagnation.
Find a Mentor – Overcoming burnout alone is a harrowing journey. A mentor can make all the difference by providing guidance and challenging you to overcome it more effectively41. If contacts are limited, books can serve as temporary mentors until you find the right person for the job.
How do I Get Past Parental Burnout?
Here are some creative ways parents today overcome parental burnout together:
Enjoy long, healthy, nutritious home-cooked meals together as a family
Learn to communicate better to raise healthier children
Have the entire family create a family self-love, self-care plan
Volunteer together as a family
Find the humor in your days together
How do Stay-At-Home Moms Deal with Burnout?
If you’re a stay-at-home mother feeling overwhelmed and burnt out, don’t worry, there are ways to conquer it.
Here are some proven solutions that might help stay-at-home mothers find balance and recharge their batteries:
Focus on something just for you42
Discover thrilling challenges that ignite your passions and invigorate your senses
Connect with other moms, possibly through a book club
Take breaks and get enough sleep
Set boundaries within your family life
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Practice gratitude
Mommy Burnout Book: A Ultimate Must-Read Handbook
Mommy Burnout by child psychologist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler is a superb self-help guide for understanding and combating the burnout trap many mothers experience.
Identify with Relatable True Life Stories
Dr. Ziegler’s warm and empathetic guide is refreshing because she explains the root causes of mommy burnout and offers practical, real-world advice through relatable true-life stories.
This ultimate must-read handbook emphasizes the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and seeking support from friends and family members when needed.
Dr. Ziegler’s insights and proven solutions are grounded in research and her experience working with mothers in therapy. This book is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to reclaim their energy and joy in motherhood.
When to Get Help for Mental Health
It’s essential to recognize the signs of mom burnout and know when to ask for help.
Don’t hesitate to ask family members or friends for help with childcare, household tasks, or just an ear to listen. You may also consider speaking with a licensed therapist or family counselor dr or joining a support group for moms.
Remember that taking care of yourself is essential to be your best parent.
Conclusion: One Step at a Time
Recovering from mommy burnout isn’t easy; it takes time, effort, and patience to shatter your old thinking and create new habits.
The journey may be challenging, but it’s also exciting and rewarding.
What are some of your tips for overcoming mommy burnout? Please, leave your comments below!
Cinderella's Bookshelf
References
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. pg.34
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 79
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- https://youtu.be/wf-E0ydaI_o
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Assagioli, R. (2010). The act of will. Association for the Advancement of Psychosynthesis.
- https://youtu.be/wf-E0ydaI_o
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 51
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 47
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 11
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 22
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 25
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 53
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication.
- Hollis, R., Peeters, S., & Ludes, A. (2020). Girl, stop apologizing. HarperCollins.
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Assagioli, R. (2010). The act of will. Association for the Advancement of Psychosynthesis. Pg. 32
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 31
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 56
- https://youtu.be/8FzBSrf7KJE
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 19
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 19
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Hollis, R., Peeters, S., & Ludes, A. (2020). Girl, stop apologizing. HarperCollins.
