Parental burnout is a genuine and severe issue that can impact parents and their children long term.
Demanding and exhausting, parenting can feel like a never-ending list of duties and responsibilities. From day-to-day errands to caring for the family and working at a job, being a parent can take its toll over time.
Parents experiencing burnout feel like their life is set to auto-pilot and survival mode.
Can You Get Burnout from Being a Mom?
Moms have a tough time dealing with burnout due to the high stress of parenting and managing a household.
Studies show that parental burnout can be characterized by persistent tension and chronic stress that lingers, leaving you feeling frazzled and overwhelmed1.
Sneaking up over time without awareness, parental burnout can seep into every aspect of life2. You may not realize it until you push yourself to exhaustion and your body switches into fight-or-flight mode.
Am I Suffering From Parental Burnout?
Are you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted with the demands of parenting? If so, you may be experiencing parental burnout.
Keep reading to learn more about the symptoms and determine if it sounds like something you’re struggling with.
How Do You Know if You Have Parental Burnout?
Parental burnout occurs when stress becomes chronic and coping strategies don’t effectively manage it anymore – leading to severe symptoms that make it hard for parents to function normally.
If you are feeling overwhelmed as a parent and suspect you may have parental burnout, check out these signs:
- Increased substance use of alcohol and drugs
- Feeling like you can’t share what’s going on in your life3
- Doing nothing outside of motherhood that is meaningful and engaging
- A sense of failure that makes you try even harder and feel even worse4
- Emotional unavailability and feeling unsettled
- Feeling chained to the house
- Wanting a job that you don’t hate
What Are the Symptoms of Parental Burnout?
Parental burnout can manifest into emotional, mental, and physical symptoms that can be hard to manage.
Identifying the signs of mommy burnout symptoms will help you find ways to overcome parental burnout and finally stop the vicious cycle of health issues most parents experience.
Emotional Symptoms of Parental Burnout
Parental burnout can be described as emotional exhaustion that is often characterized by the following:
- Irritability toward everything and everyone
- Being overwhelmed and crying all the time
- Out-of-control mood swings
- Turmoil in relationships with family and friends
- Social isolation; feelings of emptiness and loneliness
- Nighty soul-crushing guilt trips
- Insecure thoughts of not feeling pretty
Other symptoms include depersonalization, negative self-talk, constant screaming on the inside, and feeling guilty, ashamed, or regretful.
The overwhelming exhaustion can lead to feelings of complete loneliness, no longer having a support network, and reduced empathy required for parenting.
Additionally, feeling trapped or cynical also indicates one may be experiencing parental burnout.
Mental Symptoms of Parental Burnout
Parental burnout can often lead to a range of mental symptoms.
Researchers found that parents who experience burnout have the following mental symptoms:
- Increased feelings of suicidal thoughts
- Lack of self-compassion
- Feeling trapped with no control over their schedule
- Losing focus at work is accompanied by low effort
- Perfectionism
- Being more prone to panic attacks and anxiety5
- Decideaphobia
- Lower impulse control
- Increased feelings of powerlessness and disappointment
- A decrease in self-fulfillment and living passively
Additionally, parents experiencing parental burnout often experience memory loss or reduction, disorientation, and feelings of going through the motions without absolute joy.
They may have little desire to do activities they once enjoyed or find themselves stuck in rigid ways of thinking6. A creeping sense of failure and feeling in over one’s head are also common signs of parental burnout.
There may also be feelings of being replaceable, doubt, and lack of accomplishment, which can cause resentment toward kids and spouses7.
Physical Symptoms of Parental Burnout
The physical symptoms of burnout can help you identify if it’s time to take a break and recharge. Continue reading to discover what these are and if they sound familiar.
Some common physical burnout symptoms include:
- Tunnel Vision – Tunnel vision causes parents to become fixated on a single perspective, unable to view things differently, leading to a lack of insight and understanding of the bigger picture and the purpose of their work.
- Fertility Issues – Burnout syndrome can cause physical and mental fatigue, disrupt hormones necessary for conception, and strain relationships8, and make it more difficult for couples to conceive naturally or through IVF.
- Body Aches and Pains – Unusual tension in the jaw, neck, and back muscles are common. Joints may become stiff or sore, and headaches may occur. There could also be stomach cramps, constipation, or other digestive issues.
- Feeling Tired All The Time – Lacking energy throughout the day, you feel like you don’t have the same energy levels you usually do. Severe cases can even lead to falling asleep while at the wheel.
- Unable To Still Yourself – Many parents who experience burnout have difficulty sitting still, as their brains can’t seem to rest or relax. They may feel constantly fidgety, anxious, and overwhelmed by minor tasks.
- Low Sex Drive – High levels of stress and exhaustion can lead to increased cortisol, emotional disconnection from sexuality, and difficulty focusing on something as intimate as sex.
- Weakened Immune System – A weakened immune system leaves parents more vulnerable to catching illnesses and struggling to recover from them. Burnout-related stress and lack of rest can also lead to chronic conditions such as allergies, asthma, and heart disease.
Why Am I A Burnt Out Parent?
Parental burnout can be a debilitating experience, often resulting from emotional, physical, and mental stress from sources like parenting, work, or feelings of lack of control.
From long work hours and demanding schedules to unrealistic expectations of themselves, their children, and their families, the pressures to conform to ideal parenting standards are causing burnout in parents.
Parents can experience burnout for several different reasons. Studies indicate that some of the underlying causes of parental burnout include:
Lack of Core Values
Deviating from your core values can create turmoil within yourself and impede your personal development, causing your mental health to suffer.
Prioritizing external opinions over your intuition or when you give others control over your surroundings can adversely affect your overall well-being.
Additionally, compromising your integrity can lead to disconnection from yourself and cause inner conflict.
Constantly Being a Super Mom
Moms are often thought of as superheroes, but the reality is that they are often slaves to everyone and everything around them.
They never say no, constantly feel guilty, and do everything for their children. Unfortunately, this often means putting themselves and their self-care on the back burner.
Moms are so busy running around that they never practice self-compassion, and nothing gets accomplished toward their goals, leaving them feeling overwhelmed and unfulfilled.
Emotional Exhaustion Due To Overbooking
Moms often overbook themselves and their children, leaving them exhausted and overwhelmed.
Increased stress and anxiety caused by a hectic schedule can affect the entire family. A full calendar also means less time between parents and their kids as they rush around to fulfill commitments.
Working a Non-fulfilling Job
Working parents can get parental burnout due to juggling a job that does not tap into their creativity, resulting in job burnout.
When you don’t have an outlet for your creative energy, it causes you to feel unfulfilled, stuck in a rut, and drained of motivation. These feelings can harm your mental health, leading to increased stress levels, and create working mom burnout if left unchecked.
Ignoring Your Body's Signals
Listening to your body is one of the most critical steps in combating parental burnout. Ignoring feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm can lead to a build-up of chronic stress that can leave you feeling physically and mentally burned out.
Paying attention to how you’re feeling at any given time is the key to recognizing signs of burnout before they become unmanageable, making you an ineffective parent.
Unhealthy Relationship With Social Media
An unhealthy relationship with social media can contribute to mental health issues and cause more stress in several ways.
Social media often presents highly curated and idealized versions of motherhood, creating unrealistic expectations of how a mom’s life should look. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or guilt as moms attempt to measure up to these false realities shown by other parents.
Social media can also take away valuable real-life interactions and self-care practices essential for maintaining mental health balance, which is particularly hard for parents already faced with constant demands and obligations.
Feeding The False Self
The false self can put you at higher risk for parental burnout by giving a voice to unhelpful, untrue messages or voices that are simply out of alignment with one’s true nature9.
These messages can come from various sources – social influences, societal pressure, and the ego itself – and can limit our potential for success, growth, and fulfillment.
It’s important to recognize and challenge these negative voices to make room for our natural inclinations, deep desires, and personal uniqueness.
Parent Burnout: Is It Just Me?
While each parent’s experience may differ, many exhausted parents can relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed and experiencing burnout by modern life.
According to a recent survey by researchers at Ohio State University, more than two-thirds of parents experienced it last year.
How Burned Out Are Parents?
Parents today are feeling increasingly burned out.
With more demands on their time than ever, coupled with the lack of emotional support, many parents report feeling constantly exhausted and overwhelmed with the pressure to perform in multiple areas of their lives.
Is It Normal To Feel Burnt Out As A Mom?
Being a mom is one of the most exhausting jobs in the world.
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed, burnt out, and tired by the end of each day due to the demanding nature of caring for children.
Examples of how moms can become exhausted include:
- Working long hours while also having to tend to household duties, childcare, and running errands
- Never getting enough sleep because of the constant demands from kids
- Not having enough time alone or with friends and family
- Feeling like you are constantly making sacrifices for your children, even if it means sacrificing your self-care.
Is It Normal To Get Tired Of Parenting?
Parenting is an incredibly challenging job, often full of long hours, difficult circumstances, around-the-clock child care, sleepless nights, and moments of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
It’s normal for parents to feel drained from the demands of parenting, especially without having a practical and emotional support group.
Caring for a child and family requires a lot of energy, patience, and commitment.
Additionally, so many unpredictable aspects of parenting can add to the stress. From dealing with temper tantrums and sudden changes in behavior to managing work-life balance and providing emotional support, parenting can be exhausting.
What To Do When You Are Burnt Out As A Parent?
There are numerous strategies available that can help reduce the symptoms and effects of parental burnout and help restore solid mental health.
With the right tools and support, parents can better manage their well-being and create a healthier environment for their children.
Strive For Simplicity For Better Mental Health
Simplifying your life can help combat parental burnout in a variety of ways. By striving for simplicity, you can reduce the friction and chaos in your life and make it more manageable10.
To achieve simplicity in one’s outer world, it is essential to:
- Value simplicity over complexity
- Choose quality over quantity
- Let go of toxic relationships that sap energy and add friction11 to your life
- Focus on just one thing at a time rather than multitasking
- Stop valuing material possessions
Embrace Calmness And Peace
Calmness is critical in helping to maintain good health. It’s only when we are calm and have peace of mind that good ideas tend to come12 that fight the risk factors of burnout.
Start your day with meditation or mindfulness. This helps bring clarity and focus to the day ahead and can also reduce your stress level and anxiety.
Additionally, developing a peaceful attitude towards yourself, others, your work, and your goals are important in managing stress levels and increasing serenity in life.
Harness the Power of an Open Mind
It’s essential to keep an open mind and be willing to seek new perspectives13.
Looking at a situation from different angles can be incredibly helpful in navigating complex interactions. The key is to stay calm and levelheaded so that you don’t get bogged down by minor issues and let them derail your progress.
Filling your thoughts with positive thinking can help eliminate unhelpful negativity, making it much easier to consider alternative points of view.
Lastly, parents must understand that without continually challenging their beliefs and admitting the possibility of new ideas, they risk stagnation and deterioration14.
Check out these 125 burnout prevention strategies that can stop parental burnout before it starts.
How Do You Fix Parenting Burnout?
Empathy is crucial in learning and gaining knowledge to better mental health for beating burnout.
Practicing self-care and taking breaks when necessary is an integral part of being kind to yourself. It’s essential for leading a healthier, happier lifestyle.
Practicing self-compassion can be challenging, but the payoff comes quickly. A small amount of time every day for parents at risk for burnout can result in incredible advances over time.
Here are some more tips for moms battling parental burnout.
Parental Burnout Treatment Starts With Self-Compassion
Parents often push themselves too hard to provide the best for their children, sacrificing their own needs.
But it doesn’t have to be that way – treating yourself with compassion and understanding can help you prevent and reduce parental burnout and better manage your stress levels.
Here’s why self-compassion is critical when it comes to managing parental burnout:
- Self-compassion helps to accept complex life events as part of a typical experience rather than viewing them as personal failures. This helps foster an attitude of acceptance and understanding toward oneself.
- Parental burnout can be a brutal reality to manage. Still, self-compassion can help reduce the associated guilt and shame by allowing us to recognize our limitations and focus on moving forward positively.
- Parenting involves facing challenges and setbacks, leaving one feeling overwhelmed or defeated. Self-compassion promotes resilience and helps parents quickly recover from these struggles, allowing them to better care for their children without burning out.
Self-compassion is crucial in learning and gaining knowledge to better mental health for beating burnout.
Practicing self-care and taking breaks when necessary is an integral part of being kind to yourself. It’s essential for leading a healthier, happier lifestyle.
Practicing self-compassion can be challenging, but the payoff comes quickly. A small amount of time every day for parents at risk for burnout can result in incredible advances over time.
How To Deal With Parental Burnout
Neglecting the need for self-care can lead to frustration and eventually a natural explosion, taking a toll on your mental health.
By creating healthy habits that promote balance and provide enough time for self-care, you’ll boost energy, strengthen coping skills, and no longer flirt with your breaking point.
Take the following precautions to stay on top of your parenting skills to prevent parental burnout:
- Develop your powers of concentration and focus on one task at a time to maximize productivity and avoid an unsuccessful outcome15
- Keep your childhood spirit alive and combine it with the wisdom and knowledge you acquire through hard work and life experience
- Get your priorities straight and organize your time
- The ability to effectively self-manage is essential for both individual success and the quality of being a good parent16
How To Recover From Parental Burnout
With dedication and focus, it’s possible to reduce the stress that comes with parenting.
Ready to start feeling relief from parental burnout? Here are a few minor changes you can make today to get the ball rolling:
- Take breaks throughout the day and use that time to do something for you
- Find professional help or support from friends, a family member, or a mentor
- Exercise can be a great way to destress
- Writing down your thoughts can help you process emotions and gain clarity on your situation
- Make short-term goals for yourself and celebrate small victories
- Having a consistent routine in place can help create structure in life
- Discover your life calling outside of parenting to gain a sense of greater purpose
- Stay present; if you’re working, work. If you’re playing with family, play
- To avoid the same everyday upsets, see if you can proactively figure out a few solutions to prevent the problems before they arise17
- Learning to say no is an essential skill for success18
- Connect with other women to nurture and care for yourself19
What Is The Fastest Way To Cure Burnout?
Investing in meaningful relationships is the fastest way to cure burnout20
A lack of close friends can lead to ineffective coping strategies, like drugs and alcohol.
Additionally, taking advantage of existing support systems like mentorship programs or connecting with parents with older children can be beneficial.
Take the time to reconnect with old friends, introduce yourself to neighbors, or join a community or activity – all of these contribute towards balanced stress levels and long-term wellness.
When To Seek Professional Help
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unable to handle the stressors of parenting effectively, it’s essential to seek help from a professional counselor or therapist.
They can provide an outside perspective and objective guidance on coping with the strain of parental burnout.
Therapists are equipped with the necessary tools to help parents manage their emotions in healthy ways and maintain balance within the family as it faces different changes.
Conclusion: Parental Burnout
Parental burnout can be a challenging and defeating experience. With time, effort, and patience, parents can start to retake control of their lives.
It requires being open to new and original ways of thinking, putting your needs first, and celebrating the successes you do have.
How do you combat your parental burnout? Let us know in the comments.
Cinderella's Bookshelf
References
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 31
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication. Pg. 18
- Greene, R. (2013). Mastery. Penguin Books.
- Corporation, N. C. (2018). The Direct Line. An Official Nightingale Conant Publication.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Assagioli, R. (2010). The act of will. Association for the Advancement of Psychosynthesis. Pg. 33
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
- Ziegler, S. (2018). Mommy burnout: How to reclaim your life and raise healthier children in the process. Dey St., an imprint of William Morrow.
