Mom overwhelm is a common experience when mothers feel unable to cope with the demands of parenting and household management.
It can be triggered by various factors, including lack of support, financial pressures, and the never-ending list of tasks that need to be done.
When left unaddressed, mom overwhelm can negatively impact a mother’s mental health, well-being, and relationships with her children and partner.
Is It Normal To Feel Overwhelmed As A Mom?
It’s usual for parents, including working moms, fathers, or a stay at home mom to feel mom overwhelmed at times.
Parenting can be considered work that requires time, effort, and energy, and the tasks and responsibilities of parenting can sometimes outstrip a parent’s resources1.
In addition, societal expectations and the mismanagement of short-term and long-term stress can contribute to parental burnout, a recognized psychological phenomenon affecting around 5% of parents.
Highly educated people who are perfectionists2 and put too much pressure on themselves and their kids are more likely to experience feeling overwhelmed and burned out.
Overwhelmed motherhood can lead to extreme exhaustion caused by uncontrolled chronic stress, which can be more stressful than severe physical pain.
It can also damage a parent’s relationships with their kids and partner, leading to self-oriented and socially prescribed perfectionism.
Why Is Motherhood Overwhelming?
Motherhood can be overwhelming due to the physical and emotional demands of being a parent. Many women, in particular, face additional challenges as they are often conditioned to take care of and prioritize the needs of others over their own.
Parenting can be particularly draining due to the following:
- Experiencing postpartum depression
- Countless chores and duties, compounded by a lack of external support
- Balancing childcare, household duties, and a career
- The hectic after-school routine of shuttling kids between activities and appointments
- Sacrificing their own needs, including a good night’s sleep, to meet the demands of their children
- The mental load of parenting, juggling the invisible responsibilities beyond just time commitments and physical chores
- Caring for sick children or aging parents
- Financial strain
- Worrying about their kids and unexpecting challenges
- Constant feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy
- Having no time for themselves, putting personal goals on hold
- Inability to maintain a healthy relationship with partner or friends
- Extreme expectations rooted in perfectionism
Moreover, an overwhelmed mom may feel overwhelmed by the fact that others fail to recognize the enormous effort it takes to carry out the duties of a mother.
This lack of understanding regarding the continuous, strenuous work required daily (all day long, for months or even years on end, without any respite or break from their obligations) can add to their distress.
What Is An Overstimulated Mom?
An overstimulated mom is a mother who is experiencing excessive sensory input, demands, or extreme stressors, leading to feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, and difficulty coping.
This can cause her to feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with her environment and daily tasks.
Some symptoms of an overstimulated mom are:
- More easily irritated by things that wouldn’t normally bother her.
- Trouble sleeping or staying asleep
- Struggling to focus on tasks or conversations.
- Increased Anxiety and stress
- More likely to experience emotional outbursts, such as crying or yelling
- Difficulty finding the energy to do daily tasks
- Feeling like you must be doing something or can’t let your guard down
- More sensitivity to sensory input, such as noise or light
- Avoiding social situations or withdrawing from activities she once enjoyed
This can happen due to various factors, such as:
- Sensory sensitivity
- Lack of sleep
- Physical illness or chronic pain
- Multiple responsibilities / Multitasking
- The demanding schedules of parents
- Caring for kids with special needs
- Managing a household while also working outside of the home
An overstimulated mom may feel like she is constantly on the go, unable to relax, and struggling to balance her responsibilities.
What To Do When You Feel Overwhelmed As A Mother?
Being a mother can be an enriching, fulfilling experience but also challenging and overwhelming.
Whether it’s managing household responsibilities, juggling work and family, or dealing with unexpected obstacles, it’s common for mothers to feel stressed and anxious.
However, it’s important to recognize when you’re feeling like an overwhelmed mom and take steps to prioritize your mental health and well-being.
Let’s explore 25 helpful tips and strategies for managing mom overwhelm.
1. Journaling To Help Mom Overwhelm
Journaling your thoughts can be a helpful tool for overwhelmed moms.
If you’re a mom feeling overwhelmed, here are a few ways that doing a brain dump in your journal can be beneficial:
- It helps to organize your thoughts
- Provides an outlet for emotions
- Encourages self-reflection
- Facilitates problem-solving
To clarify, journaling can be a powerful tool and a great idea for managing stress, promoting mental health, and helping you not feel guilty.
By writing down your thoughts and feelings, you can gain clarity, insight, and perspective, feeling more empowered to manage the wide-ranging challenges of motherhood.
2. Boost Spiritual Health In Your Own Life
Spirituality means different things to different people, but it’s generally associated with better overall health, benefiting both your mind and body.
By exploring your spirituality, you can:
- Find inner peace and calmness
- Help you find hope and optimism, even in the face of adversity
- Gain a deeper understanding of who you are, your values, and your purpose in life
- Increase your compassion, empathy, and attention
- Better empathize with others, understand their struggles, and connect with them deeper
- Quiet your mind, allowing you to release tension
- Overcome hardships, and find creative ways out of your problems
Additionally, spiritual wellness allows an overwhelmed mama to tap into your inner strength and resilience, giving you the courage and determination to overcome any obstacles.
3. Combat Mom Overwhelm With Prayer
Prayer can be a powerful tool for connecting with your inner self and a higher power, propagating you to discover your true self. When you pray, focus on your thoughts and intentions to gain clarity and perspective, helping you find calmness and serenity.
Prayer is a personal and spiritual practice that offers various benefits. Here are some of the many benefits of prayer:
- Prayer can deepen your connection with God
- Prayer helps you find peace and calmness in times of stress and anxiety and offers comfort, solace, and assurance that things will be okay
- Praying encourages gratitude, thankfulness, and appreciation for the many blessings and gifts in your life
- It helps you connect with your inner self and foster the self-reflection and self-awareness that provides clarity and perspective on life’s challenges
- Studies have shown that prayer can reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress
- Prayer can offer a sense of community and social support, promoting a sense of belonging and connection
- Praying helps individuals build resilience and cope with difficult situations like illness, loss, or trauma
It’s important to note that prayer is a personal practice and can take many forms, depending on your beliefs and preferences. You may pray silently, recite a prayer or mantra aloud, or engage in meditation or contemplative practices.
4. Gain Self-Awareness
Self-awareness allows you to recognize and understand your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and how they are interconnected.
It’s essential for personal growth and can help you better understand your strengths, weaknesses, and values, leading to more fulfilling relationships and career paths.
Additionally, self-awareness is a helpful tool for preventing worry, mom overwhelm, and managing chronic stress. When you’re self-aware, you can identify the warning signs of burnout and address them before they become overwhelming.
Here are some ways to gain self-awareness if you’re overwhelmed by parenting:
- Take a break and practice mindfulness
- Identify your core values, explore your purpose in life, and stay focused on your goals
- Recognize your strengths and weaknesses
- Seek constructive feedback from others you trust
- Take personality assessments such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or the Big Five personality traits
- Practice self-reflection by setting aside time daily to reflect on your thoughts and feelings
Moreover, if you’re feeling defeated as a mom, trusting your instincts and exercising self-discipline are vital factors in achieving self-awareness, personal growth, and the success needed to help you find your flow and live a life of integrity.
5. Build Self-Confidence To Beat Mom Overwhelm
When facing the challenges of motherhood, having self-confidence can be an invaluable tool.
Self-confidence is a belief in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment; the assurance that you have the necessary skills to succeed and handle a particular task or situation.
Self-confidence can be developed and enhanced by:
- Taking action and learning from your failures
- Trying new things outside your comfort zone
- Recognizing your strengths and weaknesses
- Practicing positive self-talk
- Not comparing yourself to others and focusing on your progress
- Setting achievable goals
Additionally, building self-confidence can help you trust your judgment, not feel guilty all the time, empower you to tackle the challenges of raising kids, and help you feel more fulfilled in your role as a mom.
6. Learn Self-Management
Self-management refers to the ability to regulate and direct your actions, emotions, and thoughts to achieve your goals and maximize your productivity.
It involves setting priorities, managing time effectively, staying organized, maintaining focus, and controlling impulses.
Here are some ways you can develop self-management skills:
- Keep track of your commitments, schedule, and deadlines
- Clearly define what you want to achieve and set SMART goals
- Determine what tasks are most important and tackle them first
- Allocate your time wisely and avoid distractions
- Practice self-control; make better decisions to avoid unnecessary stress
- Learn to control your emotions and maintain a positive outlook
- Set and communicate healthy boundaries for yourself and your kids
- Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally
Regularly practicing these habits can improve your self-management skills, help you achieve your goals more effectively, and combat mom overwhelm.
7. Effectively Communicate Your Mom Overwhelm
Effective communication is characterized by clearly and concisely exchanging information, thoughts, or ideas so the recipient understands the intended message. It involves speaking, active listening, asking questions, and providing feedback.
Effective communication helps moms:
- Manage daily life responsibilities
- Reduce stressors and gain more energy
- Receive the help they need when they need it most
- Establish clear expectations
- Gain confidence and not feel guilty about asking for help
- Expressing their feelings more openly
Effective communication can also help build stronger relationships, prevent misunderstandings, and resolve conflicts from mom overwhelm. It is an essential skill in personal, professional, and social contexts and can be improved with practice and feedback.
8. Ask For Help: Find A Mommy Mentor
Asking for help from a mommy mentor, loved ones, non-mom friends, or other women is essential to preventing moms from burnout and getting overwhelmed.
When struggling, asking for help can be beneficial because:
- It provides the support needed to handle the mother’s load of parenting
- It allows moms to take time for themselves and recharge
- It’s incredible to have someone to talk to who can offer emotional support and encouragement
- You can gain practical advice and strategies from someone who can relate to raising kids
- It creates a sense of connection and community, which can be incredibly helpful in reducing feelings of isolation
Asking for help and finding a mentor can be incredibly helpful for moms struggling with overwhelming feelings. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support when you need it.
9. Reframe Your Expectations
As a mother, it’s natural to have expectations for yourself and your children, but it’s crucial to ensure these expectations are realistic and healthy.
Having unrealistic or “crazy” expectations can lead to constant overwhelm and, eventually, burnout. Expectations that are excessively lofty and unfeasible:
- Put continuous pressure on yourself to perform at your best
- Cause you to set goals that are unattainable or require too much effort to achieve
- Lead to frustration, disappointment, and burnout
- Cause you to neglect self-care and other important aspects of your life
Here are some tips on how to have more attainable and healthy expectations as a mother:
- Be realistic and accept that mistakes and setbacks are a part of the process
- Prioritize self-care
- Focus your energy on what’s essential, not societal pressures
- Set realistic, achievable goals for yourself and your kids
- Stay present at the moment and practice mindfulness
Remember that every mother’s journey is different, and there is no one “right” way to be a good mom. Setting realistic expectations and prioritizing self-care can help you and your children thrive.
10. Embrace Forgiveness And Self-Compassion
Embracing forgiveness and self-compassion can be an effective way to beat burnout and mom overwhelm.
Forgiveness is an essential aspect of self-compassion. It involves letting go of the anger and resentment we may hold towards ourselves for past mistakes or shortcomings.
By forgiving ourselves, we can:
- Enjoy more robust relationships with your partner and kids
- Release negative emotions that can contribute to burnout and overwhelm
- Move forward with a more positive mindset and better focus
- Treat ourselves with kindness and understanding
- Avoid the negative self-talk that leads to burnout and overwhelm
- Prioritize our needs and take time to rest and recharge
- Develop resilience and bounce back from challenges more quickly
Treating ourselves with kindness and understanding can build a stronger foundation for overall health and success.
11. Evaluate Your Thinking Patterns
To combat mom overwhelm, it’s essential to evaluate your thinking patterns.
Avoid feeling guilty, ashamed, or worried about daily life stressors. Instead, strive to maintain a healthy perspective so you can:
- Enjoy valuable insights and more profound happiness
- View situations in context and more clearly
- Make sharper, quicker distinctions
- Assess circumstances with precision
- Strengthen your mental resilience
- Remain in control even when faced with challenges
A positive outlook can help you make healthier choices, boost confidence, and counteract burnout symptoms.
To develop mental toughness, take a holistic approach:
- See the big picture
- Practice positive affirmations
- Meditate
- Reframe negative thoughts
- Cultivate gratitude throughout your day
12. Stop People Pleasing
People-pleasing can lead to overwhelm and burnout because it often involves prioritizing the needs and wants of others.
It can take many different forms, but some common behaviors and characteristics of people-pleasers include:
- Difficulty saying no to requests or invitations
- Putting others’ needs first
- Going to great lengths to avoid conflict or criticism
- Seeking approval and validation
- Apologizing excessively
- Overcommitting to exhaustion to please others or avoid disappointing them
To stop people-pleasing and avoid burnout, try these strategies:
- Practice setting boundaries and saying “NO”
- Identify the root causes
- Make time for activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit
- Cultivate self-awareness
- Practice assertive communication to help you avoid feeling resentful or taken advantage of by others
- Build self-esteem and challenge negative self-talk
13. Stop Multitasking To Beat Mom Overwhelm
Multitasking can be tempting because it “allows you to get more done quickly.”
However, on the contrary, research has shown that it reduces productivity and increases stress levels. When you try to do multiple tasks simultaneously, your brain has to constantly switch between them, leading to mental fatigue and burnout.
Instead of trying to do everything at once, focus on one task at a time. Prioritize your to-do list and start with the most important or time-sensitive task. Give yourself time to work on that task before moving on to the next one.
This will help you stay focused and make progress.
14. Organize Your House To Reduce Mom Overwhelm
Decluttering, cleaning, and organizing your house can significantly reduce anxiety for overwhelmed moms.
Here are some ways that it can help:
- Reduces visual clutter, helping you feel more calm and focused
- It creates a sense of control over your environment
- You can save time in the long run by finding things more easily
- It produces a more peaceful environment
- You’ll be more productive and efficient in your daily tasks
Additionally, decluttering, cleaning, and organizing your house can help you feel more calm, focused, and in control, which can significantly reduce mom overwhelm.
15. Feeling Overwhelmed; Declutter Your Calendar
When you declutter your calendar, you prioritize the most critical tasks and activities while letting go of non-essential ones, helping you regain control.
Reducing the number of activities and commitments in your schedule frees up time for relaxation, which can be crucial for maintaining your mental and physical health. You may also find that by focusing on fewer tasks, you can accomplish them more efficiently and with greater satisfaction.
Overwhelmed by motherhood? Here’s some expert advice on how to declutter your calendar to reduce overwhelm:
- Prioritize your tasks based on what is most important to you and your family
- Schedule downtime for yourself and your family to relax, read a book, or spend quality time together without any distractions
- Learn to say no to specific activities or requests that are not essential or do not align with your priorities
- Simplify your daily routines by planning out meals for the week, doing laundry on certain days, or schedule in a regular time to clean the house
- Set boundaries like setting limits on screen time or scheduling designated work hours
Overall, decluttering your calendar as a mom can help you better manage your life and reduce stress, allowing you to be more present and engaged with your family and the activities that matter most to you.
16. Overwhelmed Moms; Stop Overthinking
Overthinking can often lead to exhaustion and overwhelm, which can be incredibly challenging for moms with a lot on their plate.
Here are some strategies that can help overwhelmed moms stop overthinking:
- Practice mindfulness practices such as meditation or deep breathing exercises to help you feel more centered and grounded
- Set boundaries with work, family, and friends to carve out time for self-care and relaxation
- Focus on what you can control rather than get caught up in thoughts about things you can’t control
- Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a helpful way to process them and gain perspective, helping you stay organized and focused
- Communication with friends, family members, other mothers, or a therapist can make a big difference in managing the vicious cycle of overthinking
17. Spend Time In Nature
Numerous benefits for mental health have been linked to spending time in nature, including reducing feelings of overwhelm.
Some reasons for this include the following:
- Nature provides a respite from the constant stimulation of technology and modern life, which can help calm the mind
- Activities such as hiking or swimming in nature can provide exercise, which has been shown to have mental health benefits
- The calming and soothing effect of nature’s beauty can help reduce overwhelm
- Increased sunlight exposure can improve mood and regulate circadian rhythms
In addition, walking with friends or your kids in nature can provide an opportunity for social connection, stress relief, and problem-solving.
18. Eat Healthily And Stay Hydrated
Maintaining a healthy diet and staying hydrated is essential for overall health and can help combat overwhelm. When we don’t take care of our bodies, it can lead to feelings of fatigue, irritability, and anxiety.
Here are some ways that a healthy diet and hydration can help combat mom overwhelm:
- Eating healthy can help boost your energy levels and keep you alert and focused
- Proper hydration and a balanced diet can help regulate your mood and reduce feelings of anxiety
- Eating a diet rich in anti-inflammatory foods like fruits, vegetables, nuts, and fatty fish can help reduce inflammation in the body
- Staying hydrated is essential for maintaining proper brain function, including memory, focus, and concentration
- A healthy diet and hydration can also improve the quality of your sleep
19. Exercise And Stretch Regularly
When it comes to feeling overwhelmed, exercise and stretching can be particularly effective in helping to reduce stress and anxiety levels.
Exercise has been shown to release endorphins, which are natural mood-boosting chemicals that can help to alleviate feelings of anxiety. It can also help reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol, which can contribute to feelings of overwhelm.
Stretching helps relax tense muscles and improve circulation, which can also help reduce tension. In addition, stretching can help improve flexibility and your range of motion, which is particularly beneficial for people who spend a lot of time sitting or working behind a desk.
Regular exercise and stretching improve overall physical health and reduces the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and obesity, which can all contribute to feelings of overwhelm.
20. Learn To Breathe Correctly
Improving breathing is essential to maximize lung capacity and leading a healthier life.
Many of us take breathing for granted, and we may not realize that most healthy people only use one-third of their lungs, about the size of two footballs on average3.
Learning proper breathing can profoundly impact your health, including4:
- Helping to lower blood pressure
- Mitigating feelings of anxiety
- Promoting better sleep
- Alleviating back and neck pain
- Enhancing cognitive function
- Relieving chronic conditions
A 30-year study has established a direct correlation between lung function and longevity, emphasizing the significance of breathing correctly5.
21. Adequate Sleep Helps With Mom Overwhelm
Improving the quality of your sleep can positively impact your overall health and well-being. Without quality sleep, you may experience cognitive consequences, such as:
- Memory loss
- Learning problems
- Lack of focus and creativity
- Poor decision-making
- Feelings of irritability, anxiety, and depression
Experts recommend that healthy adults get an average of 7 to 9 hours of restful sleep per night. Less than six hours of sleep each night strongly predict burnout.
By improving the quality of your sleep, you can:
- Feel more equipped to handle difficult situations
- Boost your mood
- Enhance cognitive function
Additionally, good quality sleep is essential for maintaining good physical health, including boosting your immune system, regulating your metabolism, and improving your cardiovascular health, among other benefits.
To improve the quality of your sleep, you can establish a regular sleep routine, create a sleep-conducive environment, limit caffeine and alcohol intake, and engage in relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or meditation.
22. Reconnect With Loved Ones
Reconnecting with loved ones such as friends, family, and pets can refresh your soul, providing a sense of social support, emotional comfort, and a renewed sense of purpose, all of which can aid in overcoming overwhelm.
Firstly, meaningful connections with your family and kids can provide comfort and security, reducing stress and anxiety6. Spending time with loved ones also reminds you of what matters most, keeping you centered and focused.
Similarly, spending quality time with friends can alleviate loneliness and isolation and offer an emotional support group grounded in a feeling of belonging. Discussing your concerns and challenges with close friends can also offer a new perspective and make you feel more capable of handling demanding tasks without losing control.
Lastly, pets can offer unconditional love and companionship, lowering feelings of overwhelm and anxiousness. Caring for a pet gives you a sense of purpose and accountability, enhancing your mood and self-esteem.
23. Have Fun And Celebrate Yourself
The health benefits of having fun are numerous. Don’t let feelings of guilt, lack of time, or societal expectations keep you from letting loose and enjoying yourself.
As George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”
Having fun allows us to:
- Develop stronger relationships with others
- Improve our communication skills
- Enhance our memory and concentration
- Boost creativity and productivity
- Continue feeling youthful
Listening to music, laughing more, and dancing are great ways to have fun with your kids.
It’s also important to celebrate our achievements. This is a significant opportunity to reinforce the lessons we’ve learned and to boost our confidence and motivation.
Celebrations positively impact our mental, emotional, and financial health, and if you’re a working mom, they’re critical to maintaining a healthy business culture and long-term employee morale.
24. Live Life Intentionally
Living intentionally means being mindful and deliberate in everything you do. It involves taking control of your life and making conscious choices that align with your values, priorities, and goals.
Here are some additional ways you can start living more intentionally:
- Cultivate self-awareness
- Incorporate mindfulness; live in the present
- Set clear intentions
- Create a plan
- Be accountable
When you choose to be intentional, you are more likely to make values-based decisions that align with your goals, helping you achieve both short-term and long-term success.
25. Simplify Your Outer Life
Simplifying your outer life means reducing the complexity and demands of your daily routine, commitments, and responsibilities. The goal is to create a more manageable and sustainable lifestyle that can help you avoid burnout and overwhelm.
Here are a few ways you can simplify your outer life:
- Prioritize your tasks
- Stop overcommitting yourself and your entire family
- Buy less but higher quality things
- Delegate tasks
- Say “no” more often
- Unsubscribe from unnecessary emails and notifications
- Reduce screen time
- Simplify your home and workspace
By simplifying your outer life, you can create more space for rest, relaxation, and meaningful activities, which can help prevent burnout and overwhelm.
Conclusion: Beat Mom Overwhelm
Overcoming mom overwhelm is not an easy task; it requires patience, time, and effort and won’t happen overnight.
Everyone’s journey is different, and what works for one mom may not work for another.
Let’s continue to support and uplift one another in this beautiful journey of motherhood. In the comment section, we’d love to hear about what has worked for you and if we left anything out.
Leave your comments below!
Cinderella's Bookshelf
References
- Bornstein, M. H. (2020). “Parental Burnout”: The state of the science. New Directions for Child & Adolescent Development, 2020(174), 169–184. https://doi.org/10.1002/cad.20388
- Hamzelou, J. (2021). “What we found was shocking. The stress levels of burned-out parents were higher than those of people in severe pain.” New Scientist, 249(3318), 40–43. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0262-4079(21)00112-3
- Sorkkila, M., & Aunola, K. (2022). Burned-out Fathers and Untold Stories: Mixed Methods Investigation of the Demands and Resources of Finnish Fathers. Family Journal, 30(4), 611–620. https://doi.org/10.1177/10664807211052477
- Pyrillis, R. (2016). Burned-Out Parents Suffer in Silence. Workforce, 95(1), 22.
- Sorkkila, M., & Aunola, K. (2020). Risk Factors for Parental Burnout among Finnish Parents: The Role of Socially Prescribed Perfectionism. Journal of Child & Family Studies, 29(3), 648–659. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-019-01607-1
- Bornstein, M. H. (2020). “Parental Burnout”: The state of the science. New Directions for Child & Adolescent Development, 2020(174), 169–184. https://doi.org/10.1002/cad.20388
