To break free of perfectionism and create more me-time for yourself, one must first explore the root causes of perfectionism.
Perfectionism traits plague many people, driving them towards unhealthy patterns of comparison, and causing them to base their self-worth on external measurements.
How does this mindset that everything needs to be perfect develop? Why are some people predisposed toward seeking perfection, even if it is unattainable?
5 Root Causes Of Perfectionism
Here are five root causes of perfectionism. Can you identify with any?
1. Deep Internal Pressure
A root cause of perfectionism can come from the deep internal pressure we put upon ourselves.
Even if we’re not conscious of it, we are all driven by something. Our actions are driven by our emotions and motivations.
Most perfectionists have a deep internal pressure to perform well and prove themselves. There’s always a reason for this. It can be drawn from a positive memory, where they are motivated to live up to an image that people they care about expected of them.
Whether the pressure comes from a place of lack, or a place of love, something deep inside them motivates perfectionists to perform to their extreme best at all times.
2. Self-Worth Issues
Being a perfectionist can be due to an internal self-worth issue that’s unresolved.
Perfectionists feel they have to over-deliver to compensate for not being perfect. This root cause of perfectionism can lead to stress and depression.
Their value as a person is conditional and based mostly on their accomplishments. They want to feel deserving, so they give their all, and even then expect to give more.
They don’t realize that they are deserving and have done enough.
3. Wanting Acceptance And Validation
Another root cause of perfectionism can start in the home early in life, learning that acceptance comes from meeting certain expected standards.
They often seek validation and acceptance from other people.
Perfectionists truly believe that they will only receive validation when they’ve perfectly delivered what’s acceptable and expected from them.
Perfectionists who grew up receiving loving rewards for certain behaviors could be in constant need of the same loving acceptance and validation as an adult.
They run the risk of constantly feeling like a failure if they don’t get this validation or receive positive feedback for their actions. They don’t need to do this in reality, but for them to feel worthy, they do.
"The more No's I open myself up to hearing, the closer I am getting to my super successful life."
4. Fear Of Rejection
Many perfectionists have a deep fear of failure and rejection. Both emotions can cause a loss of self-esteem.
To a perfectionist, success provides a sense of belonging and acceptance. There can be no rejection if they are seen as being perfect.
In their mind, successful people are well-liked and sought after and not likely to be rejected by others. This root cause of perfectionism is important to them.
5. Their Belief And Mindset
A person with a fixed mindset is often fixed in their beliefs about what they can or can’t do in life.
Perfectionists often have a fixed mindset, which pushes them to strive hard at what they are good at.
They can be fixated on the idea that they’re only good at certain things, so they stay in their comfort zone, only doing what they can do perfectly.
It is not only a negative disposition to have, it can be incredibly limiting. It can cause them to be perfectionists in even the smallest areas of their life.
Instead, they should relax and believe more in themselves and their abilities to learn new things. If they did they may find that they are good at a lot of other things too!
How To Get Over Perfectionism To Gain More Me-Time
When you find yourself trapped in the rabbit hole of perfectionism, stop digging. Don’t let it consume you.
To counter the root causes of perfectionism, it’s time to start doing the following.
- Embrace and accept your flaws
- Forgive, be kind to, and love yourself
- Practice mindfulness
- Don’t fear failure
- Failure is feedback (quote)
- You need to fail to succeed
- Start taking action
Remember, you are good enough, and you don’t need to be perfect to be loved and respected.
Don’t waste your time living up to the expectations of other people. Stop spending your time trying to please everyone.
Conclusion - Root Causes Of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is not sustainable, and it can exhaust you.
Quiet your mind and relax your body so that you will feel less stressed, and you will become healthier in every way.
You’ll turn your flaws into opportunities for growth and developing your self-worth. You’ll feel freer and happier, knowing that you don’t need other people’s approval.
When you stay genuine, you will attract in your life the right people whom you can have meaningful connections and relationships with.
That could be the key to real happiness.
